5 LIES ALL WOMEN TELL!!

You trust her, you adore her, and you worship the ground she walks on. However, make no mistake about it, gentlemen; all women lie in certain situations and your little angel is no exception. For the sake of this article and to help you out, we've narrowed the spectrum to the essential five lies all women tell. Sometimes, they just tell these lies to make you feel good about yourself but it still remains a lie. Certain lies occur much more frequently than others. It's up to you to learn the five lies all women tell, and how to handle them.

"I'M NOT MAD AT YOU."
Oh, yes she is. Don't think you're getting off that easily. This lie is one of the most frequently used in relationships. Typically, women who have been hurt by men in their lives -- often inadvertently -- use this phrase as an emotional defense. For example, if a guy forgets his girlfriend's birthday, calls her by his ex's name or commits any of the other minor screw-up’s that most men do on a daily basis; women usually can't just let it go. They dwell on it, letting worries whittle away normal feelings of well-being.

Instead of admitting that she's actually quite hurt by his relatively minor offense, the woman will halfheartedly pretend that she doesn't care at all. In reality, she does care, very much so, but doesn't want to look too bitchy about it, so she puts up the flimsiest of facades to indicate otherwise and tells one of the five lies all women tell.

LIE RADAR: This lie is extremely easy to pick up on because women barely bother to hide their irritation in this situation. As unfair as it may seem, they basically want men to read their minds and learn that, in this case, "No, I'm not angry" actually means "I am shooting invisible hate laser beams at you right now, please pick up on it." Excessive eye rolling, mean tones and passive-aggressive behavior in general are dead giveaways.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO: Save yourself some time and headaches later on by calling her on her real feelings and discussing why she's so angry.

"I DON'T MIND IF YOU GO TO STRIP CLUBS WITH THE BOYS."
Wow, you have the coolest girlfriend ever! Not quite. If this one sounds too good to be true, that's because it is. Virtually all women mind when their men go out to ogle other women at strip clubs without them. It's only a question of how much they mind.

This one of the five lies women tell is very similar to lie No. 1, in that it is told by women to make themselves seem less pathetically needy. In general, women are extremely wary of their boyfriends being in highly sexually charged situations without them. Also, they hate to feel second best to a boys' night out. In this case, she's either telling one of the five lies all women tell to save face or to test you.

For the same reasons, they are also lying when they say they don't mind you checking out other women in front of them.

LIE RADAR: This lie is usually a little bit more artfully concealed than the first because it's a little bit more pathetic to own up to one's insecurity. It's best to just always assume that this statement is a lie.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO: You're probably better off just not going. Ask yourself: Are two hours of bare booty worth weeks, even months, of bitchy comments?

"I'M JUST NOT READY FOR A BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW."
Once again, this statement is almost always false, although at least it's told with the best intentions, in order to soften rejection. It might be followed by an additional excuse such as: "I just came out of a bad relationship, and I don't want to be hurt again," or "I'm just too busy with my career right now to have a boyfriend." The truth is, if the woman is single and at all interested in you, she will certainly make the time to date you. It's that simple.

LIE RADAR: Does she seem uncomfortable, avoid eye contact, talk too much, and come up with numerous excuses? Liar, liar, miniskirt on fire.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO: Let it go. Don't bother letting her know that you see through it. Take the easy way out by pretending you believe her for your own personal dignity, and just walk away. She will come after you………!

"I DON'T MIND PICKING UP THE TAB TONIGHT; YOU ALWAYS PAY ANYWAY."
Not true. Although this lie doesn't apply to all women, most still do expect men to pay for things, especially if the man asked them out in the first place. They will secretly think that the guy is cheap if he wriggles out of the bill on a regular basis. Men should always at least offer to pay for dinner if they have asked the woman out. If she protests vigorously, then you can hold on but if she just protests casually, she's only doing it out of politeness -- so pay for it.

LIE RADAR: If she says: "Oh, I'll cover this," but doesn't even make the motion of rooting around in her purse for her wallet, it means that she has no real intention of paying.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO: Dude, just go to the date fully prepared to pay for the whole thing. In later stages of the relationship, you can work out a fair way to determine who treats who when, but in the early, critical dating stages, don't risk looking cheap.

"THAT WAS FUCKING GREAT!"
This lie falls under the broad category of sex lies. When women are committed to a man, they focus on him, often believing, time and time again, that he is "the one." Because girls have this tendency, they also tell guys whatever they think they want to hear (like they just had an orgasm), just to make them feel good about themselves.

Sex lies are a dime a dozen. Other sex untruths women often tell are the following: "I only cum with you"; "You have the longest penis"; "Yes, I came"; and "I've only been with X number of guys before." (They will decrease their actual number of sex partners because they're worried you will think they're promiscuous.)

LIE RADAR: When it comes to sex, that most sensitive of topics, it's safe to say that you should take most things she tells you with a grain of salt.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO: You shouldn't be asking her to rate her sexual experiences, period. That's just in poor taste. If she offers you one of the lies above on her own, however, laugh and change the subject, as if to say: "That's flattering, but I don't really take these things too seriously as long as we're both happy with our sex life."

Now that you know the five lies all women tell, be on the lookout for them, and react accordingly. Once she learns that you can't be tricked, she'll be more straightforward with you in the future.

WHEN TO GET TESTED

In today’s age of life-threatening sexually transmitted infections, you have every right to know that your potential girlfriend/boyfriend has a clean bill of health before climbing into bed with him/her. You’re also entitled to a little reassurance at other points in the relationship, when the need arises. Some will find the idea of asking such question intimidating, which is understandable, as the recipients of such question often find them offensive.

Not to worry; asking is far less difficult than you realize, and a little sensitivity can go a long way. The following tips will help you determine when to get tested, and how to ask him/her to do the same.

New relationship
Unless you’ve been tested during the last 24 hours, or have been abstinent since your last checkup, it’s a good idea to suggest mutual STI testing when starting a brand new relationship. This will ensure your partner doesn’t feel like you’re accusing him/her of being already infected, and will put the focus on mutual health -- as opposed to only safeguarding your own. Tell your partner you think it might be a good idea if you both drop into your local clinic for some peace of mind. If he/she recoils in horror at the idea of visiting the clinic together, that’s fine; testing for women especially is more involved and many prefer using their own gynecologist. Either option is fine, as long as he/she chooses one of them.

Testing tip: If your partner flat-out rejects the idea, this could mean he/she is afraid of learning the answer, which suggests he/she is no stranger to risky behavior. This doesn’t mean your partner is infected, but it does mean you’d be wise to use protection until things are proven otherwise.

Trying to get pregnant
If parenthood is on the agenda, both you and your woman should be tested for STDs before you start trying -- even if you were both tested at the start of your relationship. Why? Because most sexually transmitted infections have a window of time during which they can slip beneath the radar. In other words, one of you could still be infected, despite your test results having said otherwise. It’s important to note that your results are both as important; either of you could be carrying an infection the other hasn’t yet acquired, but the woman could acquire during pregnancy. This is highly significant, because diseases like syphilis and hepatitis B (blood-borne infections that can be asymptomatic for decades) can be passed from mother to fetus, sometimes resulting in premature delivery or stillbirth.

Testing tip: If the woman hasn’t already suggested this one herself, the guy should approach it from the angle of responsibility. By telling her you know it’s unlikely either of you has anything to pass on to your future child, but you want to ensure the baby’s health at all costs. Your woman will find the suggestion admirable and endearing.

Either of you have cheated
If either you or your partner has cheated, it’s time to get tested. This goes for whether or not the cheater went the whole nine yards. When it comes to oral sex, women can pick up Chlamydia and gonorrhea during fellatio -- and they can pass it to someone else the same way. You should also be tested if either of you cheated “safely.” Bacterial STIs, like the aforementioned Chlamydia and gonorrhea, don’t require intercourse for transmission; heavy petting is all it takes. The same goes for incurable diseases like herpes, the gift that keeps on giving. Cheating is like opening a box of rotten chocolates; you never know what you’re going to get, but whatever it is, it won't be pleasant.

Testing tip: If either of you just confessed to cheating, the cheating partner should be asked to get tested immediately. This is especially important if you’re going to stay together and work through the infidelity. Waiting a few weeks, or months, to broach the question will only re-open the wound, which could undo any emotional healing that’s already taken place.

One of you notices physical changes
As we mentioned earlier, most sexually transmitted infections have a window of time during which they can go be undetected. If an STI goes unnoticed in the early stages, the symptoms could mistakenly be dismissed as benign when they finally present themselves. For example, if the woman develops an unusual genital ulcer five months into your relationship, it’s more than reasonable to expect her to get tested again. After all, illnesses of that nature are particularly difficult to detect.

The same goes for the guy; if the woman notices a significant change in the smell or color of her man’s semen, the man shouldn’t be offended if she brings it to his attention and asks him to get tested. Follow-up testing is in both of your best interests. In the other way round, if a guy notices some changes in his woman’s body he should ask her how she’s feeling, tell her he is worried about her, and think she should visit her gynecologist to rule out infection.

Testing tip: Don’t come out and mention STIs right away; mention the symptoms and give him/her a chance to draw his/her own conclusions. If he/she doesn’t connect the dots, say that you think it would be a good idea if you both had some follow-up testing done. This will sound more like genuine concern and less like an accusation.

Better safe than sorry
While few people relish the idea of asking a partner to get tested, it’s a pleasant alternative to coming down with a sexually transmitted infection. If you approach the situation from the angle of mutual responsibility, most people will agree to get tested without taking offense. After all, they will feel better knowing that you’re free of infection too. Let your partner know that your concern is genuine and he/she will view your suggestions as the epitome of responsibility -- and women especially just love a responsible man. Don’t they?